Error loading page.
Try refreshing the page. If that doesn't work, there may be a network issue, and you can use our self test page to see what's preventing the page from loading.
Learn more about possible network issues or contact support for more help.

Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
Discover how you can use Zen Buddhist practices and mindfulness tools to cope with the difficult people—or ‘troublesome Buddhas’—in your life.
Perhaps you can see there’s a pattern to your behavior in relation to the challenging people in your life—and that it often causes pain. Here, Zen monk Mark Westmoquette argues how the only way we can grow is by facing this pain, acknowledging how we feel and how we’ve reacted, and making an intention or commitment to end this repeating pattern of suffering. Often times these difficult people—or “troublesome Buddhas”—can prove useful teachers. 
Westmoquette speaks from a place of profound personal experience. He endured two life-changing traumas caused by other people: his sexual abuse by his own father; and his stepfather’s death and mother’s serious injury in a car crash due to the careless driving of an off-duty policeman. He stresses that by bringing awareness and kindness to these relationships, our initial stance of “I can’t stand this person, they need to change” will naturally shift into something much broader and more inclusive. The book makes playful use of Zen koan—apparently nonsensical phrases or stories—to help jar us out of habitual ways of perceiving the world and nudge us toward a new perspective of wisdom and compassion.
  • Creators

  • Publisher

  • Release date

  • Formats

  • Languages

  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      September 27, 2021
      Mindfulness teacher Westmoquette (The Mindful Universe) draws on personal experiences of loss and emotional abuse in this helpful guide to facing fear, letting go of negativity, and finding new ways of dealing with difficult situations. He begins with an introduction to the benefits of mindfulness, the functions of emotional regulation and “dysregulation,” and various strategies for coping with stress, such as breathing exercises. The core of the book covers “troublesome buddhas” (those one struggles to get along with), including coworkers, friends and family, and even oneself—and offers examples of ways to deal with each. For instance, Westmoquette shows how an office manager used mindfulness to help him make difficult hiring decisions. Another man found that his frustration with a neighbor’s habit of parking directly in front of his house (leaving him only a half space to park) served as a “mini-revelation” of how his mind dealt with strife. Westmoquette concludes with a discussion of how suffering creates the potential for awakening, and implores readers to act from a place of compassion. Readers who enjoy the work of Thich Nhat Hanh should take a look.

    • Booklist

      November 1, 2021
      Westmoquette teaches readers how to deal with people who push all the wrong buttons--""troublesome Buddhas,"" as he calls them. He begins by openly discussing his turbulent past, with the same refreshing honesty often found in ""Zen and the Art of"" books. He urges readers to regulate their emotions and be compassionate when dealing with people who spark negative thoughts. Instead of being angry, try to see things from their point of view, and dig into why they might behave that way. This is why it is important to be honest about our own experiences, so that we can cultivate that deeper level of understanding. This does not mean one should be a doormat; on the contrary, Westmoquette explains ways to set healthy boundaries and forgive, even if that person is no longer in your life. He provides numerous real-life examples that describe this process working for people of all walks of life. This book will resonate with just about everyone, religious or not, who has difficult people in their lives, and offers a healthier way of handling adversity.

      COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Formats

  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB ebook

Languages

  • English

Loading